


All That You Are

by morningssofgold



Category: Prodigal Son (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Romance, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:55:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23773429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morningssofgold/pseuds/morningssofgold
Summary: Malcolm gives Dani a birthday to remember.
Relationships: Malcolm Bright/Dani Powell
Comments: 8
Kudos: 62





	All That You Are

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Coming Home](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21874747) by [morningssofgold](https://archiveofourown.org/users/morningssofgold/pseuds/morningssofgold). 



> _All that you are, I wanna see_   
>  _Show me your scars, don't hide from me_   
>  _Fall in my arms, they'll set you free_   
>  _'Cause I wanna be beside you, beside you_
> 
> _All That You Are // Sinead Harnett_

_Did you ever fight it?_  
_All of the pain, so much power_  
_Running through my veins_  
_Bleeding, I'm bleeding_  
_My cold little heart_  
_Oh I, I can't stand myself_  


Malcolm slowly opened his eyes to the soulfully graveled croon of Michael Kiwanuka blaring through the apartment signaling the start of his day. He took a deep breath letting the music wash over him. He’d always really loved this song, probably because he felt like he could relate to it.

Though things had changed for him recently, Malcolm still connected to it. Those lyrics still spoke to him, _even though_ things had changed– _even though_ he could honestly say that he was _happy_. 

Malcolm stared up at the exposed ceiling, finding himself in bed alone but he wasn’t really–not anymore. Not as he heard noises of kitchen cabinets opening and closing. He popped the clasps of his restraints, turning over as he spied the dark curly head of the only reason he’d ever had for hope with her head bent in concentration, appearing to be mixing something.

 _Dani._ His fiancée of only a month. Malcolm still couldn’t believe that he could call her that. He’d always felt so intrinsically connected to her but that connection had terrified him. It terrified him because he didn’t understand it. He didn’t understand why or how he could look at a woman he hardly knew and feel _understood_. Only around Dani did he ever feel at rest when restlessness was all he’d ever known. 

It was terrifying when he didn’t know her very well, it was even more so when he did. Dani was so incredibly kind and compassionate. When he got lost in the depths of self-loathing, she made him smile. She took care of him. She looked out for him. She protected him. When nothing was right, only she remained. Dani gave him so much and he ran from her because of it. 

Malcolm ran because he could never believe that someone like her could ever truly _want_ him. After all, what could he give? Moreover, what could he give someone like _her_? To him, Dani was perfect. He didn’t deserve her, her care and her comfort. It was wasted on him–or so he thought.

––––––––––––––––––––

After sliding a pair of sweats over his hips and pulling on a plain black long-sleeved shirt, Malcolm walked over to where Dani stood in the kitchen busily doing something, only to be stopped short when he truly got a look at her. 

Dani had gotten up before him–a minor miracle within itself as he wasn’t exactly known for his ability to actually rest. Malcolm took in her damp, air drying shoulder length dark curls and high cut black bodysuit, mixing ingredients in bowl as if this weren’t something that had only previously existed in the depths of his imagination.

Dani had officially moved in a couple weeks ago and slowly he was getting to know her in ways that only he could. That said, it was still something of a shock to see a woman he’d only barely allowed himself to have _those_ thoughts about, casually moving about his–now their–apartment in her underwear. 

“You know...this happened in a dream once.” Malcolm said still quite unsure if he were actually dreaming or not.

The edges of Dani’s full lips quirked up as she added eggs to whatever was in her bowl. “ _You_ don’t dream.”

“That’s not entirely true. I’ve been dreaming every day since you said yes.” Malcolm smiled as Dani’s cheeks flushed prettily as she looked up at him through her thick fringe of dark lashes, giving him that sweet little smile he loved so much. The one he’d first been gifted with that time he saw her in her oxblood evening gown.

That moment was when Malcolm realized that he’d gone from simply being attracted to her to being affected _by_ her. He’d never reacted in that way to anyone before. He’d never felt his heart beat in double time and all words leave him but he had then. Truthfully, even that had been scary–feeling so off-kilter and unsure of himself.

Malcolm stepped behind the island, wrapping his arms around Dani. His hands resting on the bare skin of her hips. He kissed her temple before reaching behind her for the canister of black licorice.

“Um, we’re not eating Twizzlers for breakfast anymore.” Dani looked up at him, her brows raised. 

“But…I–" Dani shook her head at him, narrowing her eyes. Malcolm wasn’t going to win and he knew it. One of the things he’d been getting to know about Dani was that she was incredibly healthy eater. He knew that as soon as his formerly empty refrigerator grew stocked with a multitude of fresh things he didn’t recognize.

He wouldn’t have quite pegged his fiancée to be some sort of wellness junkie, but he supposed it made sense that Dani would believe in taking care of herself wholeheartedly–after all, that was what she did for him. He would assume it started with yourself first–or at least that was what Dani always told him.

“I’m baking muffins, you’re gonna eat _real_ food.” 

Dani knew he didn’t have the best eating habits, if he even bothered to eat at all. In fact, it was his mother of all people who’d told her that he got by on only sparkling water and licorice. His mother thought the remedy to that was hiring him some strange German nurse whose bedside manner consisted of chokeholds and headlocks. Dani decided to bake in her underwear–it was clear what solution he was more open to.

“Okay, but real is subjective.” Malcolm replied, trying to reason with her. It wouldn’t get him anywhere but he had to try anyway.

“Cute. Now, go sit down.” Dani smiled thinly as she angled her head toward the chairs behind the island. He watched as she added fruit to her mixture, his frown deepening. “They’re cherry and almond though.” 

“Enticing,” he grumbled, still not entirely happy about having to abandon his Twizzlers.

Dani shook her head at him, completely unable to hide her smile.“You’re gonna start taking better care of yourself, even if it kills you.” 

“Okay…” Malcolm sighed heavily, staring down into his mug of black coffee. He reached for the four prescription pill bottles that lined the island. Never in a million years thinking he’d feel comfortable enough to take his medication in front of anyone. 

Malcolm had never hidden this side of himself from Dani even before they’d gotten together. In fact, on the very first day they met, he’d ended up revealing far more about himself than he ever intended. 

Though it had been completely under duress in the presence of a copycat killer of his father’s, Malcolm had been forced to tell his story. It had been deeply upsetting that a new person in his life, someone he would be working closely with and someone that he’d honestly wanted to like him would now know him _like that_. He'd worried how Dani would react to him now that she knew the truth. Now that all of his trauma had been laid bare for her to see.

Dani had reacted by showing him concern not fear–not revulsion. From the first day, she’d seen his darkness and never once had she closed her eyes, never once did she run.

“That’s the spirit,” Dani smirked before squatting down, rooting through the bottom cabinets in search of a muffin pan. 

Malcolm bit his lip, leaning over the counter, thoroughly appreciating the view. 

Despite his lack of enthusiasm for his fiancée’s choice of breakfast, he could very honestly say that it was not the worst way to start his morning–at all. He also belatedly realized that just as Dani changed his breakfast, she’d also changed his music–melancholy blues shifted to sultry pop.

 _Bona fide stallion_  
_You ain't in no stable, no, you stay on the run_  
_Ain't on the side, you're number one_  
_Yeah, every time I come around, you get it done_  


Taking in Dani this morning in all of her _everything_ , baking and despite being wholly unfamiliar with this song, Malcolm realized that he could relate to _these_ lyrics as well. He was forever overwhelmed by just _how much_ as he listened to the ear-worm chorus.

As his fiancée popped back up–much to his disappointment–Malcolm couldn’t help but stare at the ring sparkling in the morning light streaming in from the window. The five carat elongated cushion cut platinum solitaire that he’d placed on her finger last month. 

Malcolm had spent so much time running from Dani when all he’d truly wanted from the beginning was to keep her close. Once he’d gotten over himself and fully trusted that she wouldn’t let him fall–that she wouldn’t leave like all the others and that their connection was a gift and not a forever unrequited type of curse, he’d gone to have a ring made for her. 

Malcolm had known that he was jumping the gun by even giving credence to such a thing, but he couldn’t help but acknowledge the feeling deep in his bones of it just being right. His head gave him a million reasons why he shouldn’t, why he should keep running but his heart told him it was time to be still. For once. Forever.

Though he eventually imagined proposing, Malcolm didn’t expect to be compelled to do it on a night where the original plan had just been to cook for her–to show his appreciation for all she did for him.

His lack of impulse control usually got him into trouble that was exceedingly difficult to get out of at times, but he remembered the tears–the joy–in Dani’s dark eyes as he knelt before her. Her hand trembling as he slid the ring on her finger. Malcolm knew that following his heart would never lead him astray– _she_ would never lead him astray.

Dani looked down, noticing him staring. “It’s really beautiful,” she said softly as she flexed her fingers. The diamond casting prismatic shadows on the granite countertop. 

Malcolm glanced down a bit. He’d sat down with the jeweler, wanting something elegant in it’s simplicity that would coincide with Dani’s tastes but he also wanted something impressive to show her that to him, she was worth this and so much more. As with everything else, Malcolm had overthought and second guessed. “I was hoping you’d like it.”

Dani smiled his other favorite smile, the wide one that made her dimples show. “You could’ve given me a ring pop and I would’ve loved it.”

Malcolm looked up, the sparkle in Dani’s dark eyes competing with the sparkle on her ring finger. 

“A lemon lime one?” he asked feeling his own smile widen at his fiancée’s honesty–his awe of her growing by the minute.

Dani remembered that lemon lime lollipop he’d gallantly presented to her on their third case together. She also remembered his little finger point as she took it from him–his ice blue eyes playful in a way she hadn’t seen since she’d met him. Her smile had lingered just a bit longer than she anticipated at his little “gift” and without even meaning to, the capricious profiler set about chipping away at the walls she’d spent the longest time hiding behind.

“Oh, that reminds me. Your birthday is in a few days.” Malcolm said as his elbows came to rest on the countertop.

“ _Bright_ ,” Dani groaned as she heard the oven go off. Turning away for a second to put in the muffins before smirking at the rather dazed expression clouding her fiancé’s eyes at the eyeful she’d just given him. “I don’t celebrate my birthday.”

Malcolm’s blinked a few times before his eyes widened in shock. Dani smiled a bit as every emotion that passed through her fiancé’s face was entirely telegraphed. “Never? Dani, everyone loves birthdays.”

Dani scoffed. “You don’t. I don’t even know when your birthday is.”

Malcolm shrugged. “It’s the day before Thanksgiving but this isn’t about me. Why don’t you celebrate?”

Now, it was her turn to look down. After her dad died, after she started having to take care of herself, after she had to grow up, things like birthdays stopped mattering so much. “I…don’t know. No one to celebrate with, I guess.”

Malcolm looked up, his face boyishly earnest. “You have me.” 

Instantly, Dani was transported back to right here in this apartment–in this kitchen. Gil had ordered her to look after Malcolm after club drugs exploded in his face. That had been her fault as he’d shown up the club owned by an old acquaintance of hers–someone she owed her life to–for a case. At the time, she thought Malcolm had shown up just to satisfy his morbid curiosity but he’d really come to help her. 

Dani had been annoyed at having to weather the storm of Malcolm's even more unpredictable behavior. At that point, she’d almost watched him die multiple times–all of which had been entirely of his own doing. She’d been learning how he operated and she hadn’t been a fan. 

That night, he’d even at one point asked if she wanted to throw axes with him. Though during his high, Malcolm had shown strange flashes of the deepest sincerity. He’d genuinely thanked her for taking care of him–something she’d found sweet–despite doubting if he’d even remember doing so once he came down. 

_You can trust me._ Something about those words he’d spoken to her then struck her, reaching her heart in a way that nothing had in a very long time. Time appeared to stop and suddenly it didn’t feel much like they were _Powell_ and _Bright_ anymore. She didn’t know what they were but for a split second as she looked at him, all she could think of was: _What if?_

Things were very different now but also very much the same. “I do.” Dani smiled softly. She reached for Malcolm's “never-better” but not currently shaky hand, squeezing it gently while knowing that there was nothing more true. 

–––––––––––––––––––

“Oh, dear! You didn’t tell me you were coming by.” His mother said as she joined him in the foyer of his family home. Malcolm hadn’t because he wasn’t staying. He just needed to get downstairs to the Milton vault to select something for Dani’s birthday, back home to stash her gift and then to work. “Why don’t you stay and have breakfast?”

Ever since Dani confided in him that she didn’t celebrate her birthday, Malcolm wanted to make it as special as possible. He hated the sad resignation that marred her beautiful face then. He wanted to make up for all of the birthdays that had gone unacknowledged. He wanted to celebrate someone who did so much but had always been given so little.

He’d also been agonizing about what to get her. Malcolm knew there were a lot of _things_ he could get her but he also knew that Dani had never cared about _things_. If she had, Malcolm probably wouldn’t have been so insecure with her–he would’ve had something to hide behind. He didn’t want to get her something that looked like he was putting on a show or trying to buy her love. Him not being real was what set him back with Dani in the first place, when all she’d wanted was him unvarnished completely and consistently. 

“I can’t, Mother. I’m just passing through. Besides, I ate at home.” Malcolm tried to inch closer to the stairwell. He really didn’t have time for his mother’s prying.

He knew his mother didn’t exactly approve of his engagement, especially as she’d been under the impression that whomever he proposed to needed to be thoroughly vetted by her first. She was wrong and her judge of character needed work but that was neither here nor there.

Jessica knew of Dani but she didn’t know her. Malcolm knew that the way he’d sprung his engagement on her had been decidedly unkind but it had felt necessary at the time.

“ _You_ ate food?” Jessica’s bright red pained lips formed an “O’ of shock.

Malcolm rolled his eyes. “People usually do.”

“People, yes, but not you.” Jessica allowed, her eyes narrowing suspiciously as her son subsisted on three cherry Jolly Ranchers a day and that could hardly be called food.

“Dani baked banana bread.” Malcolm replied, once more trying to ease his way to the stairwell.

“ _Banana bread_? Since when do you eat _banana bread_?” His mother gasped, clearly shocked that he ate something that belonged on the food pyramid. “Also why do you eat what she makes but never anything I have prepared here?”

Malcolm blinked. His mind flashing back to Dani baking this morning in her little black and floral matching set and the miles of exposed olive skin illuminated by the morning light. “…I don’t really know…”

“Well, what does she put in this banana bread?” Jessica huffed, folding her arms as the multitude of gold bangles on her wrist jangled musically. “I can have it made here.”

“I _really_ don’t think you can.” Malcolm smirked, recalling long tanned legs and tiny sheer pajama shorts.

“No, but seriously _what is in this bread_?” His mother insisted.

“ _Love_. Now, if you’ll excuse me…” Malcolm said taking his leave, no longer wanting to be interrogated about baked goods.

–––––––––––––––––-

Reaching into the vault, Malcolm searched for something he thought Dani would like. Quite a few pieces had been given to Ainsley over the years for birthdays and graduations but he knew his mother had put aside things for him to give to his future wife. 

Malcolm never thought he’d feel strongly enough to want to give any of this family heirlooms away. All of the women in his life came and went but the one he wanted to stay more than anything, he never thought he’d actually have the courage to give any one of these pieces to her.

He spied a beautiful emerald and diamond ring. It was something Dani would like but he’d just given her a ring, he didn’t really see the point of giving her another. 

Looking through each of the jewelry boxes, each piece its own version of extravagant. Malcolm found something much more suited to his purposes. It was a small Aquamarine pendant set in gold with little round diamonds around it, attached to an incredibly delicate gold chain. He’d seen this pendant in old photos and it had belonged to his Great Aunt Catherine, the wife of his Great Uncle Douglas. It was undoubtedly old but he still thought it was something Dani would feel comfortable wearing regularly. 

Malcolm put the necklace in his bag before quickly making his way upstairs. Despite feeling somewhat like a cat burglar, he realized he had to leave before his mother inevitably came looking for him. 

Dani would officially become family in about six months time but Malcolm still felt the strongest urge to protect what he had. His mother had inserted herself into his affairs before, taking advantage of his loneliness and desperation–doing what _she_ thought was best which had ended like most of the things she thought were best, leading to fresh scars and more inner turmoil.

Malcolm had now gotten it right without her help and he didn’t want to put his fiancée in the crosshairs of his mother’s neurosis. He didn’t want Dani to have second thoughts about what her life with him would be like.

––––––––––––––––––

Malcolm stood in the conference room, pacing. They had three victims–each with multiple stab wounds in the same pattern–one killer and not a single common thread. They victims were of different backgrounds, they all lived different lives but to be killed in this way was undoubtably personal–intimate even. They all had to know the killer but how? Malcolm felt like the answer was just beyond his reach so naturally he took the trip out to Claremont Psychiatric to visit his father.

He didn’t bring Dani but he’d wanted to. He’d wanted her steady, calm presence beside him but she and JT had been speaking to every known associate their victims had, hoping to find where their killer might have met them or gotten to know them.

Martin had been eager to help–he always was. _“Oh, my boy, you’re not looking deep enough!”_ his father had said jovially. _“And I’m surprised quite frankly. You always find the things you shouldn’t.”_

Just then, Malcolm knew they weren’t talking about the case anymore but with his father, it was _never_ just about the case. The things he found. The girl in the box, the fact that his father had drugged him repeatedly as a child, the fact that his father had taken him on that camping trip to kill him, the truth. He _always_ found the truth–or Martin’s warped version for it. Even fresher scars and even more inner turmoil–that was what he found.

Suddenly he’d been happy that Dani hadn’t been with him. Malcolm knew her ring wouldn’t escape his father’s notice and he would be delighted to impart more of his poison upon them–upon their new life together. Martin had noticed something between them the first time she’d come with him but Malcolm knew Dani could handle herself. It was _he_ who couldn’t handle _himself_.

Malcolm was grateful Dani hadn’t been there because she wasn’t just his partner anymore. He didn’t want her to be faced with the realization that this was what she was tying herself to. She was tying herself to a man who was consistently belittled and degraded. A man who was reduced to a lost, confused eight year old boy with only a few seemingly benign words out of his father’s mouth. The night terrors, the pills, the hallucinations, the mania, the depression, the anxiety, the PTSD, the _violence–so much violence_. All of it came back to this.

Why would she want this forever? _How_ could she want this forever?

“Hey,” Dani said softly from behind him, breaking into thoughts that never seemed to go away. “Gil’s letting us out for the night.”

Malcolm turned, seeing his fiancée shrugging into Army green coat, ready to leave with him as she’d been doing for the past three months.

Though he and Dani’s working relationship hadn’t changed and Gil made them swear to keep the PDA to a minimum, her smile when they saw each other throughout the day was always warm, inviting and private. It was what got him through most days but Malcolm couldn’t help those intrusive thoughts of what if he didn’t get those smiles anymore. What if he was destined to be left out in the cold?

“I’m actually gonna stay a little longer. I haven’t gotten that far with the profile.” Malcolm said, wrapping an arm around Dani’s waist, needing to feel her just then. 

Malcolm wasn’t exactly lying. He hadn’t gotten very far thinking about their case when his mind kept drifting to other things. Painful things.

Dani quirked a brow but she didn’t press him. She never did. “Okay, I’ll see you at home then.” She kissed him soundly before Gil cleared his throat loudly. 

“Gil, I’m off the clock.” Dani grinned at their boss who crossed his arms, leveling them both with a dry look, his heavily mustached mouth turning down in that displeased father way of his.

“Yeah, but _he’s_ not.” Gil replied, angling his head toward the doorway. “Get outta here, Powell.”

Dani laughed–that musical sound that could always cut through the unrelenting noise in Malcolm’s head–raising her hands in surrender, before quickly complying with Gil’s orders.

“Now, get back to work.” Gil’s turned his attention back to Malcolm. His stern voice completely undercut by the twinkle in his eye.

––––––––––––––––––

“Hey Sunshine,” Malcolm said after letting himself in, greeting his parakeet and longtime companion twittering away in the corner.

“You greet your bird before me?” His fiancée asked from the kitchen, clearly amused.

Malcolm smiled a bit, glancing down. “Sorry, I kinda forget you live here too.”

“Thanks,” Dani said dryly, from behind the island as she dished out what appeared to be Pad Thai from the takeout box onto two plates. 

She’d changed out of the thin black v neck sweater and black high waisted jeans she’d worn to work, instead opting for one of his old shirts from undergrad with her curls tucked under what she’d explained to him was called a bonnet.

He’d been a bit confused at the concept of covering one’s hair to sleep but after Dani carefully explained the intricacies of naturally curly hair, he could certainly understand her desire to protect it. That said, Malcolm thought she looked really cute with it. He liked her like this–makeup-less and completely relaxed. It was his favorite way to see her because he never thought that he would.

“No, I mean, it’s always been me and Sunshine. I’m still getting used to it being me and you.” Malcolm replied slowly. At that admission, those painful thoughts from earlier began to swirl around in his head.

Dani looked up, staring at him for a moment. She sensed _something_ , Malcolm could tell but she didn’t press it and he was glad she didn’t because he wouldn’t have known what to say. He didn’t want to put words to his doubts–his weakness. 

“Come here,” Dani called softly.

Malcolm slowly stepped behind the island, feeling at once unnerved and warmed by the tenderness in her dark eyes. Dani said no more as her slender fingers deftly began to unbutton his navy vest, her ring catching the overhead light in the kitchen before gently sliding it off his shoulders. He watched as she carefully draped it over the back of one of the island chairs. Dani came back to him and began to slowly loosen his tie. Before he could ask what she was doing, he realized she was doing what she always did. She was taking care of him. 

Malcolm intently tracked Dani’s slow movements. He watched as she gently went for his hand, removing his cufflinks before rolling his sleeves to the elbow. She noticed the impossibly soft smile that formed over her lips as she did. 

_This is what it’s like to be cared for…_

He’d never experienced it before. _No one_ had ever done anything like this for him. His layers were yet another way he tried to hide. His pristine exterior covering his damaged, decrepit interior. But here she was, unfolding him–unmasking him.

Suddenly those feelings that had plagued him since the moment he left his father’s cell, came back to him in full force. He would never be able to keep this– _her_. Dani had committed to him when she accepted his ring but commitments weren’t for someone like him–someone who had to beg people to stay even when he knew they wouldn’t.

Malcolm remembered what it was like to be left absolutely _reeling_ after the rug had been pulled out from under him and only Dani had made it better. If Dani left, there would be no one to make it better. _He_ would never be better.

––––––––––––––––––––

Dani curled up on her side looking looking through case files. Not unlike her fiancé, this case was bugging her too. She felt like there was something she just wasn’t seeing and whenever that happened she usually went back into her work bag before bed, hoping that a clear head would give her fresh eyes. 

This had sort of become one of the ways she winded down and Malcolm was _always_ curious about whatever new finding she might have whenever he got out of the shower. He was always eager to listen to her–one of the things Dani loved most about him. 

That said, something wasn’t quite right with him tonight. 

Dani was used to her fiancé’s mercurial moods but he’d calmed a bit since she’d moved in–since she went from being at his side _most_ of the time to being at his side pretty much _all_ of the time. She noticed how he was more at ease, less manic–less moody. Dani was grateful that she could do that for him. But she’d noticed something change in him. Something was different ever since she’d relieved him of his layers.

She hadn’t been trying to wig him out, she’d just wanted to care for him. Dani knew Malcolm didn’t have the best day and she’d wanted him to know that whatever lies and riddles Martin had filled his head with about himself and who he was–with her was where he’d always find the truth. She’d hoped that her care would set him free but she wasn’t sure what had happened.

Dani looked up as Malcolm padded into the bedroom. Something was definitely wrong. Dani saw it in his nearly translucent eyes. She saw an ache that came from deep within. She saw something vulnerable and raw. Something sad.

No matter how hard Malcolm tried to hide, Dani saw everything–she always had. When Malcolm got like this, he withdrew–he ran. That wasn’t an option anymore. She was here and she would help.

Dani put her tablet on the nightstand before opening her arms to him. She didn’t say anything but she didn’t have to. Malcolm _knew._

Dani wrapped her arms around him as Malcolm wordlessly eased into her. She scooted lower so that her chin rested on his shoulder. 

“You wanna talk about it?” She asked softly, as her hand drifted beneath the threadbare Harvard shirt he wore, lightly tracing circles over the smooth corded muscles of his stomach.

“I don’t know what to say.” Malcolm mumbled as he relaxed more into her.

“I know you went talk to your dad. Why didn’t you ask me to go with you?” Malcolm relied on those visits to solve cases but Dani knew with every insight gained, even more was lost. 

She wished she could’ve gone with him. Whatever Martin did to him–whatever fresh torment he unleashed on her fiancé, he wouldn’t have done that if she’d been there. Dani wouldn’t have allowed it. She protected hers.

“Are you sure you wanna spend the rest of your life taking care of me?” Malcolm answered her question with a question of his own.

His question on the surface seemed unrelated to hers but as Dani had found out, everything about Malcolm circled back to Martin. Whatever happened today had caused him to doubt her. It would’ve been easy to become discouraged but she’d never done things the easy way. 

“It’s guaranteed to be rotten work.” The bitterness and self-deprecation coloring Malcolm’s words only made Dani hold on to him tighter.

Dani turned her head slightly, pressing a kiss into Malcolm’s soft still damp, rose scented chestnut hair. “It’s _you_ , so it’s not work at all.”

Malcolm shifted in her arms, turning over so that he faced her. His eyes–the prettiest eyes she’d ever seen were thick with tears that she would guess he’d been holding inside for awhile. 

Dani gently brushed Malcolm’s hair out of his eyes. Her fingertips lingered over his always warm skin. 

“I just don’t understand _why_ you’re here…” Malcolm whispered, his voice breaking.

Her fiancé truly believed that he was undeserving of anything _good_. She knew that was why he’d done the things he had. Those things had hurt her but as she was realizing through all the time she’d been spending with him–her mornings, her days and her nights–that it was him who’d been hurting too.

“Bright, I _live_ here.” Dani said softly, still stroking his hair, attempting humor. Attempting anything that would relieve the ache–the pain she saw in her fiancé’s eyes. The ache she felt in her own heart–the pain she felt as if it were her own.

“No, you live _here_.” Malcolm said, placing her hand–the hand with her ring glinting in the lamplight over his rapidly beating heart. “And it’s gonna _kill_ me if you leave.”

Now, Dani _understood _. It wasn’t any pain he felt now, it was the _thought_ of pain he’d feel later if she left him. If she decided that she didn’t want forever. If she discarded him like all the others before her. __

Somehow, Malcolm didn’t understand that Dani deserved him too.

Dani adjusted herself, making sure there was no space between them. She watched those now very familiar ice clear eyes search every inch of her face. She hoped he saw a love there that would reassure him every time he needed it. Her hand cupped his face, her fingers stroking the high arc of his cheekbone.

“Why would I leave someone who every day makes me feel special and beautiful and wanted? Someone who makes me feel _loved_. Someone who makes me feel like I can do anything– _everything_.” Dani laughed softly, laughing to keep from crying herself as she felt the emotion begin to clog her throat. She felt Malcolm’s heartbeat slow beneath her hand at the words she spoke but his tears fell openly, falling on her skin. “I’m not used to this. I’m used to the emptiness in my heart but _you_ changed that, Malcolm Bright.”

Dani gently brushed her fiancé’s tears away as he looked up at her in the way a blind man might look at the sun for the first time. She saw vulnerability etched in his too handsome face but it wasn’t fearful–it wasn’t sad. “Bright, I swear to everything I pray to, that I won’t _ever_ break your heart.” 

More than anything, she thought he needed to hear that. He needed to hear that she wouldn’t let him down. 

Malcolm said nothing as he wrapped his arms around her tightly, his legs intertwined with hers–completely melting into her as his face buried in the crook of her neck. He inhaled slowly as if breathing her in. 

Dani smiled as she brought him closer, carding her fingers through his hair. She knew that at this point Malcolm just needed to be held–anchored–and she was more than happy to do it for him. She would _always_ do it for him.

Dani wore Malcolm’s ring and in six months she’d have his name but those scars didn’t go away all at once. They didn’t need to. Dani would heal them little by little. Whenever Malcolm got scared, she’d be there to tell him she loved him every time.

_–––––––––––––––––––_

Today had been one of the few mornings since Dani had moved in that she didn’t wake up before Malcolm. She remembered the heaviness of last night and she’d hoped this morning would be better. It was.

Gone were the shadows that had haunted her fiancé’s pale eyes as he kissed her good morning and wished her a happy birthday. Those shadows had been replaced by the warmth and light she loved so much. She assumed that Malcolm had been up awhile as he was dressed for work in his crisp white dress shirt, skinny blue tie and tailored black trousers. His chestnut hair neatly slicked back.

“How come you don’t make me breakfast in _your_ underwear?” she’d asked with a grin as she wrapped her arms around him from behind, watching as he carefully prepared her preferred breakfast–Avocado on rye toast in the way she liked it with salt, pepper and Tabasco.

“You want me to?” Malcolm had laughed, tossing her a cheeky smirk over his shoulder. He would and honestly, her fiancé would do it naked just to one up her and as incorrigibly business obsessed as Malcolm was, that was _not_ a precedent Dani wanted to set.

As she freshened up her makeup in the precinct locker room at the end of the day–or when Gil had said it was okay to go, after making progress with their case. Tapping a bit of pink cream blush into her cheeks, Dani realized that this was the first time in a long time that she was really looking forward to celebrating her birthday.

She hadn’t seen Malcolm much today as she’d been interrogating suspects and he’d been back and forth to the crime lab. Gil had been annoyed when Malcolm pulled one of his famous disappearing acts but at least this time Dani knew it was to start whatever birthday plans he’d set up and not something that was likely to get him killed–or so she hoped.

Fluffing her hair once more, Dani realized that she was all but ready. Though they were staying in, she still wanted to look nice. She’d opted for a pair of navy pinstriped ankle length pants with the cute paper bag waist and a white long-sleeved wrap blouse with a plunging neckline. 

“Look at you, Powell. Got a hot date?” JT asked amusedly from his desk, taking in her uncharacteristically dressed up appearance. 

“Sure do, _bye_.” Dani said without breaking stride, her pointed toe nude heels pounding against the squad room floor as she hastily made her way to the door and towards home, where her fiancé waited for her.

––––––––––––––––––

Opening the door and letting herself in with her key as opposed to his spare, Dani’s hands immediately flew to her mouth in shock at what she saw. 

Everywhere she looked all she saw were red roses and white tapered candles. Each surface of the apartment held elaborate red rose bouquets, the floor covered in rose petals up to her ankles. 

To say she was floored would be an understatement. Taking off her heels to better wade through the sea of rose petals in search of her fiancé, Dani found Malcolm in the kitchen, pouring two glasses of wine before looking up, breaking into his beautiful dimpled smile.

“You look incredible.”

She noticed that he’d changed out of the expertly tailored black suit he’d worn to work and had changed into slim dark jeans and a cashmere hunter green sweater. She’d never seen him in green before but it was her favorite color and it looked amazing with his hair and eyes. 

Malcolm walked over to her, barefoot as well before kissing her lightly. “Happy birthday, darling.”

Dani blushed at the endearment, grateful her reddening cheeks were hidden by the candlelight. She was forever undone by just how soft he made her. “Thank you and that’s…the first time you’ve ever called me that.”

Malcolm scrunched his nose cutely. “I know. I’m trying it out. Does it work for you?” He asked quizzically with raised brows as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against him.

“It does,” she replied softly, cupping his face and enjoying the friction of his rough stubble beneath her hands. 

“Hey…um…about last night.” Malcolm started, uneasiness clouding his handsome face. “I _needed_ to hear those things and I love you for it but I feel…bad. I mean, I feel bad that you try so hard and you give so much but it still never seems to be enough.”

“Bright, you never have to feel bad about showing yourself or your feelings to me. We’re on the same side and when you start to overthink, just remember I’m yours and that’s all I wanna be.” Dani watched the uneasiness fade as it shifted into immeasurable tenderness that she still at times couldn’t quite believe was for her. “Now, my birthday dinner…”

–––––––––––––––––––

“Is that the tomato, mozzarella and basil salad I like?” Dani asked clearly impressed as Malcolm fixed her plate, peering into the large wooden bowl once they’d made it back to the kitchen.

“It is.” Malcolm grinned

“And will you eat some with me?” Dani asked with raised brows. 

She remembered the last time she made it and all of the complaining that went along with it. It truly was like pulling teeth to get Malcolm to eat something that would actually not make him feel like death–save for sitting on his lap and feeding him–something she wasn’t proud of but had done just to shut him up. 

The man was a _child_.

Malcolm’s grin widened, clearly thinking about that last time too. “I could be persuaded…”

Dani’s eyes narrowed, smirking. “But it’s not _your_ birthday.”

“I could sit on _your_ lap and feed _you_ , if you want.” Malcolm waggled his brows at her.

Dani rolled her eyes. She was sometimes completely unable to tell whether her fiancé was joking or not and she didn’t want to give him any ideas. “I don’t want. Thanks."

Malcolm laughed as he neatly dodged an elbow to the ribs before wrapping an arm around her waist, kissing her hair. Dani smiled, seeing as how he’d also roasted chicken, the same thing he’d done for her on the night he proposed.

“And no birthday is complete without cake,” Malcolm said before presenting her with an amazing looking lemon meringue cake. 

“Did you make this too?” Dani asked, impressed once again. “And also how’d you know lemon was my favorite, cause I never told you.”

“You’re not the only one who can bake.” Malcolm smirked. “And you did actually. That time you brought me home from the hospital after the whole Watkins thing.”

“I remember you ranting about lemon jello but…” Dani said, trying to recall that conversation and only coming up with her fiancé and his strange jello hangups.

“Somewhere in there, you told me you liked lemon too but only lemon cake but not with lemon filling, which is weird honestly.” 

Dani quirked a brow at _him_ calling _her_ weird but her heart absolutely swelled at the fact that Malcolm remembered something so obscure when she didn’t even think he’d been paying attention to her back then.

“I remember _everything_.” Malcolm said softly as if reading her mind.

–––––––––––––––––––

“This has easily been the best birthday ever.” Dani wiggled her white painted toes in the sea of rose petals on the floor.

“I’m _very _happy to hear that but it’s not over yet.” Malcolm took his place beside her on the couch. His eyes alight as he presented her with a very old looking slender blue velvet box.__

Dani gasped as she lifted the lid taking in the delicate vintage necklace. “This is so beautiful. Bright, thank you.” She lightly traced a fingertip over the little Aquamarine and diamond pendant. “Where did you find this?”

Malcolm smiled, delighted by her reaction. “It actually belonged to my Great Uncle Douglas’s wife, Catherine.”

“The good looking uncle?” Dani asked as she scooted closer, lacing her fingers through his. Her ring shining in the candlelight. 

She remembered the portrait of the stately looking man that hung in Malcolm’s family room. She also remembered how embarrassed he looked for the team to be in the same place his father had gotten arrested for murdering 23 people and she’d wanted to make him feel better even then. 

That said, never did Dani believe that she’d ever own something that belonged to said uncle’s wife.

“That very one.” Malcolm reached over, burying his hand in her curls. “I wanted you to have something that I guess is like a piece of me in a way.”

Dani glanced down at their interlocked fingers. Though the necklace was stunning and she’d wear it often, it wasn’t exactly the piece of him Dani _most_ wanted if she were being completely honest with herself. 

She mentally straightened her shoulders as _that_ wasn’t something worth spending time thinking about, especially on what had been such a perfect night

“Oh and I have one more.” Malcolm said, letting go of her hand before depositing a white box with the words _La Perla_ emblazoned on the top in gold in her lap.

She couldn’t tell for sure but it seemed her fiancé was rather excited for her to open this one and as soon as she lifted the lid and pulled back the white tissue paper, she knew _exactly_ why.

Dani couldn’t help but laugh as she lifted a really pretty black bodysuit out of the box. This one was far more delicate and decidedly more romantic looking than what she usually wore around the apartment as she took in the spaghetti straps and lace around the neckline and the leg openings. 

“I’ve become rather attached to your banana bread and your muffins.” Malcolm said by way of explanation, smirking. 

Placing her gift on the coffee table, Dani scooted even closer sliding into his lap, her hands carding through his thick chestnut hair. Malcolm’s arms wrapped around her automatically. “Oh, have you? I didn’t think you’d want muffins in the morning, considering we have cake.”

“No, I want them.” Malcolm looked up at her, his voice growing hoarse and suddenly she realized her fiancé wasn’t exactly talking about her baking skills anymore.

Dani smiled against his lips as Malcolm stood with her still in his arms, carrying her easily. “And you shall have them.”

_–––––––––––––––––_

Dani startled awake at the sound of something noisily being dropped in the sink. She sat up only to find Malcolm in the kitchen with another slice of cake.

“ _Babe_ , it’s 3 am. Why are you eating cake?” Malcolm’s eyes widened as he was so clearly caught. 

“Want some?” he grinned, clearly finding no good enough answer to her question. 

_Not really_. Dani sighed, “Sure, you can cut me a small piece.”

Malcolm nodded happily and it was times like these that Dani could see glimpses of the eight year old he’d once been or at least the one he would’ve been.

Dani reached for her fluffy blood red robe before joining Malcolm in the kitchen, wondering how he could casually walk around in his black Emporio Armani briefs, completely unaffected by the October chill that had crept into the apartment.

“I said a _small_ piece.” Dani frowned at the slice he’d placed on her plate that decidedly wasn’t that.

“Whatever you don’t finish, I will.” Malcolm squeezed her arm playfully before taking both of their plates to the living room. She shook her head. Her fiancé was a weirdly bottomless pit for sweets but had to be practically force fed anything useful, though she was honestly starting to wonder if Malcolm was doing that on purpose.

Dani flipped on the massive TV that covered the width of the wall before draping her legs in Malcolm’s lap as she took her plate from him.

“ _The First 48_?” Malcolm asked amusedly, around a mouthful of cake.

“Okay, I know it’s what _we_ do all day but is there not something weirdly comforting about it?” She asked, pushing bits of fluffy meringue around her plate.

Malcolm looked at her– _really_ looked at her. “This is what it’s always gonna be like for us, isn’t it?”

“Eating cake at 3 am?”

“No–well, maybe. But I mean, us like _this_.”

What they had as much as it felt like a dream, it was real. It wasn’t fiction or fantasy. It wasn’t a reality he’d constructed only so he wouldn’t have to face the actual one–one that constantly and painfully reminded him of his deficiencies, his difference. This was _them._

“Yeah, it will,” Dani said softly. “But I’m kinda wondering how I’m gonna top this for your birthday like you set the bar pretty high..."

The edges of Malcolm’s lips twitched up in the tiniest hint of a smile, his gaze soft and filled with something she couldn’t quite place. “You don’t have to get me anything because when you touch me, I feel a little less broken and that’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Dani knew Malcolm meant every word but to her, he was never broken. Malcolm had always been more than the sum of his parts and in time, he’d see that because she’d show him.

**Author's Note:**

> As always HUGE thanks to my brainstorming partner in crime @2amEuphoria for the idea. I did THE MOST but I hope you all like it all the same.
> 
> Songs mentioned in this one.  
> "Cold Little Heart" by Michael Kiwanuka  
> "Yummy" by Justin Bieber
> 
> Prompts used by @drink-it-write-it on Tumblr "Lyric Starters" and "200 Prompts"
> 
> 2\. "I never feel like this, I'm used to the emptiness in my heart."  
> 4\. "I need to hear you say those words."  
> 17\. "Swear to everything I pray to, that I won't ever break your heart."
> 
> 69\. “When you touch me I feel a little less broken.”


End file.
